Friday, 19 November 2010

Standing at my window looking out , I see, I think, maybe I think what i see

I  live in a flat which is part of a converted mental asylum, known to have once been one of the largest in the UK. At one point in history there where more people living in here than there was living in some cities. As i stand here looking out of my window i cant help feeling the history surrounding me engulfing me whispering to me things that have never been told. Lost in my day dream whilst staring out its easy to imagine how it was then, and easy to forget how it is now. They say if you think your mad you are probably not. The fact that you can look at your self and make that assumption shows that you are of a sound mind. A person who is mad doesn't know it, they just do the every days things that they have to totally unaware that there is anything wrong with there behaviour. They believe what they are doing is right and that its only the person who questions them that is wrong. So strong the conviction and belief that they are right is that they would be willing to fight anyone who challenges what they believe in. So what gives you your sense of self? Realization is the key to understanding but unless you can compare your self with someone that is certified normal you really don't have much to go on to aid that realization.

I think I'm free, therefore I must be.

I get up i go to work, i come home i lead a so called standard life. Least that is what i think. What if my normal life was all in my head, What if in reality i was really a patient still in the care of the asylum.

7.30 am The alarm sounds and i unwillingly get out of bed!
7.30 am Nurse sounds the alarm time to get out of bed!

8.30 Go to work. Got to paint a house.
8.30 I head off to the work house, today we are painting.

My whole day could be just my brain putting a slightly more interesting slant on things. In one reality I'm leading a life in the other I'm being led. I come home and socialise with friends who are neighbours what if they too are just in the next dorm. Reality it seems can take on many guises our brains just interprets it as best it can and in a way that helps us to exist. Either reality could be fact, deep down I'm sure i know the truth the real question is dose that truth really matter?

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